i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
