I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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