okay pat passed out under dana's car
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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