all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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