Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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