??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
