Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
