You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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