It's just like the Real World with babies
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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