why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The best revenge is premature balding
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
