Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
