I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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