Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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