Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
These tits shall not be calmed
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
