she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
is that a dick in a sweater?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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