you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
