So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
