she was so not down for the gang bang
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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