a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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