he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We named our party play list daddy issues
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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