I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
