: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
