I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You are the jesus of drinking
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
