i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
