Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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