that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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