i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
