I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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