Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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