I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize