Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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