im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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