Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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