so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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