i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
