Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Welp...herpes.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
