He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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