I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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