You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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