I wanna passion pit in your ass
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
