I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
