Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
