so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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