Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i believe in u and ur pee
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
