Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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