when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
