The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
