is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
