Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
