apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize