Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize