I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
