that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I skipped work to stalk him.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
