Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
