big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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