I heard we made out
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
