sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
