your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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