after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
