He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Less talking, more tequila
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
