Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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