marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
