Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
